Artwork © 2019 by Vallhund
Thursday, May 16, 2019
A month ago, I posted about changing my name on all my accounts to just my initials. This was just temporary. Now I can finally reveal my shiny new name:
I've been going by "Katie" privately for about a month and a half now. Online, I've been going by my fursona's name "Katie Pendry", or "Katie the Panda", or "ktpanda". My site is now ktpanda.org, and all the old URLs will redirect to the new one.
Needless to say, I'm still the same person, except now I can be who I truly am and not feel like I'm wearing a mask all the time.
I'd like to thank the Reddit communities /r/egg_irl, /r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, and /r/MtF. as well as my wonderful therapist, for helping me kick my self-doubt and denial, and for showing me that every trans person's experience is different. I had built up a straw person view of what a trans person must experience, and simply dismissed all the thoughts that I might be trans because I obviously didn't meet all this strict criteria, and must therefore I must be a cis male.
Despite the fact that I've always wanted smooth, soft skin.
Despite the fact that I've despised having facial and chest hair, always keeping it shaved as short as possible, even though I hate shaving.
Despite the fact that I've always hated my voice.
Despite the fact that as a kid, I fantasized about swapping bodies with a girl in my class.
Despite the fact that I found the idea of magical transformation into a woman appealing.
Despite the fact that I once accidentally introduced myself as my mom's daughter (brain fart or subconscious wishing? I'm still not sure).
You get the picture.
But after seeing the memes on /r/egg_irl, talking to other trans people, and talking with my therapist, I came to the conclusion that whatever I ended up as, I wasn't 100% cis. I picked out a name, created a new Reddit account, and started exploring. I started taking hormones on April 24, and within a week, it was clear - I'm not genderfluid, non-binary, or any of the other labels I was trying out... I'm a girl, plain and simple.
All the friends I have come out to so far have been extremely supportive, and I am very grateful for that. I know it's not easy adjusting to a change like this, but they have been very good about using my new name and not misgendering me.
Finally, I am very thankful for the support of my loving boyfriend, Scrydan. He has been a huge source of support during my transition. It's so helpful to not have to worry about whether or not my partner will support me.
Friday, May 10, 2019
Back in February, I promised to start blogging more often. I haven't had a lot of time to keep up with it, though. I've been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend Scrydan who I met at TFF. Even though we live a fair distance apart, we're spending as much time together as we can. This weekend, we're going to be camping at Central Plains Fur Meet southwest of Wichita.
Posts might be sparse for a bit, but hopefully I'll have some stuff to post about soon.